I am so over New Year’s resolutions. So over them.
Why, you ask?
Well, a lot of reasons. First of all, they just seem so violent. This is what they sound like to me:
“After this arbitrary date and time, I will be different. I will then beat myself up continuously when I do not miraculously change. I will then use my inability to change (without any support or structures to help me, mind you) as ammunition to beat myself up for the rest of the year until I promise, once again, to repeat this painful cycle.”
Ow. Ow ow ow.
It hurt me back in the days when I half-heartedly made (and forgot) resolutions of my own, and it hurts me to see other people doing it.
I feel so much sadness when I see people rushing to the gym at the beginning of January, exercising in a way that hurts, thinking that the pain will make them prettier and more virtuous.
They’re already so pretty. And virtue? It can take a hike, for all I care.
In addition to the fact that they hurt (ouch), resolutions send a very distinct (and poorly disguised) message with which I disagree entirely.
New Year’s resolutions are another way of saying:
“I am not okay the way I am. I need to change. I need to get better. I cannot like myself the way I am now.”
And that is so far from the truth.
Because you are okay the way you are. You don’t need to change. You don’t need to get better. You can like yourself the way you are now.
You will need support, though. You’ll need structures in place to help you in liking who you are. You’ll need a band of merry friends, people who adore you and extol your virtues regularly. You’ll need a way to demonstrate to yourself what your talents are and what you can accomplish.
I know it hurts. Trust me, I know. I also know that it can get better. You can flush your resolutions down the drain, and it can feel good.
Mine are already long gone.
I’ve never been one for them for all the reasons you so eloquently stated, but last year I did make a resolution and it did make me feel better about myself.
I resolved to answer all messages within 24 hours.
As you might expect, I failed…but only if I’m being literal. In a broader sense, my resolution helped me to be more conscious of responding in a timely manner and it’s now become a habit. It’s a case of defining the use of goals: I don’t think goals are necessarily meant to be reached. They’re meant to be REACHED FOR.
Happy resolution-free new year!
love love love this. i don’t need to change, i need to grow. when i focus on growth, goals seem to (near) effortlessly melt into reality. so important to accept what is so we can move forward into who/what we want for ourselves.
Love this. Perfectly encapsulates how I’ve been feeling about resolutions and myself. I’ve been feeling that I kind of *should* set some, but didn’t really want to. Because, hey!, I quite like myself these days. I’m noticing that the things I want to “change” (better way of saying this: evolve, grow), I feel passionate about working with and it just kind of happens… I work, but I don’t need to make myself do it or resolve to do it etc.
thank you
Gwenn: Reaching for goals is such a great way to think of things. I very much like the idea that simply setting a goal is an accomplishment, and that the actual accomplishment of the goal is icing on the cake.
Dian: Yes! When we stop forcing things, they sometimes just flow. And flow feels good, eh?
Krissie: I fully endorse not making yourself do things. It’s like a great sigh of relief. Ahhh.