I’m noticing something that happens to a lot of my coaching clients. And to me. We’re good at setting goals, lofty or small. We can dream big. But then, afterward, we tend to forget the fact that we did the amazing thing we set out to do. Or we remember, but we no longer think it’s a big deal.
I spend a good portion of my coaching sessions saying, “Wait. Hold the phone. You did that? You did that totally incredibly challenging thing that you couldn’t even have dreamed of doing six weeks ago? HOW FREAKING AMAZING ARE YOU?!?!?!”
Next, my client might realize that, oh yes, WOW. She’s incredible, and she totally did that huge thing. Or she might feel kind of embarrassed about this possibility that I’ve opened up, the possibility of feeling proud. Or she might demur, and mumble that it wasn’t really that great.
I catch myself doing the exact same thing. Exact. So today I’ve decided to create a space for us to come together and practice recognizing ourselves. This, right here, is about sharing. Creating energy around actions, both big and small. There is nothing that’s too small to share and be proud of here. There is nothing that’s too large and glitzy for this venue.
Let us try this, shall we? I’ll go first.
- This month, I received some incredibly fantastic praise from a couple of my coaching clients. I felt radiantly happy to hear them say that our sessions are resulting in meaningful changes in their lives.
- I felt proud because I had a communication breakdown, and I was able to lovingly work through it, even though it felt really difficult.
- I went to a dance class last week, and it was one of the most fun experiences I’ve ever had. I was able to dance without caring whether I was good or not, and it was such a complete and total blast. The whole experience was much different than most other dance class experiences I’ve had in my life.
- I tried a new photo technique with a client, and it came out very close to how I had imagined. Plus, I know a few things to change for next time that will hopefully help it to come out even better.
- On a whim, I had the idea to bring my nubby, green socks to work for when I’m sitting at my desk writing for long spans. My feet are very happy about this.
Now it’s your turn to join me. I’ll jump up and down for you, and sprinkle rainbow enthusiasm dust all around. Promise.
Comments: Sharing our proudness is crazy difficult. That’s why it happens so rarely. Here’s how we do it: We share an accomplishment or an excitement. (We don’t have to get specific, or share any details we’re uncomfortable sharing.) This is also a very special space, because we don’t have to qualify our achievements. We don’t have to say why we’re excited about something (though we can if we want to). Also, you can let us know if you’d like us to keep our excitements about your achievements to ourselves. Otherwise, we’ll respond with nothing but positive showers of affection, so your achievements may continue to grow and flourish.
Excellent post! I’ve noticed the same thing with my own coaching clients and also with myself. I often blaze through goals and accomplishments and start thinking about the next big thing without taking the time to look at myself and say “Wow! I’m awesome!” Here are some things I’ve done lately that I’m quite proud of:
*Spoke at a Women in Business event & got really great feedback
*Volunteered with a mentoring group that works with young girls
*Found a running buddy and actually ran with her!
Thanks for giving us the space to share and celebrate.
I love this! What an awesome idea and so sorely needed. I get into striving mode too and sometimes forget to stop and revel is my achievements. So here I go:
- I got my debt and finances under control and have been following my financial plan faithfully for 4 months
- I launched my new website and newsletter
- I crafted a supportive home office and work routine for myself so working from home is a blast now (instead of a breeding ground for procrastination).
This felt lovely, thanks for the invitation to share!
Nailah: Wow! Public speaking?! How crazy awesome is that? Even more exciting that you got great feedback, so you can build on it next time. And mentoring! That sounds super duper amazing. Oh, and running with a buddy. That sounds like a really big accomplishment, AND a whole bunch of fun. I love getting to run with a buddy. Makes such a difference.
Marsha: That’s incredible that you’ve been following your financial plan for four whole months. Seriously, that’s huge. And I’ll bet you’re already feeling the benefits of it in a whole bunch of ways. Also, how cool that you created a supportive home office/work routine AND launched a new website and newsletter recently! I can’t help but think that creating a supportive physical space must be making your new virtual space more dynamic, and vice versa. So amazing. GO YOU!
Ohh! I love this! Aren’t you a special, special spirit?
* I got some praise after teaching a class today: “Stella, has anyone told you lately, you are awesome!”
* I got some great feedback on a photo shoot I just completed
* I felt over the moon to be invited to teach at an upcoming yoga retreat
* I felt strong recently in taking some time off, I’m a bit of an over-worker and I listened to myself for once
xxx
Yay! What a wonderful idea! Recently, I let myself be filmed doing my artwork, which was one of my greatest fears. It was super scary, because I kept thinking that other artists would look at how I paint and think, “amateur”. Seems a little silly in retrospect. I’m so glad that I pushed myself to do it…
Stella: Oh, thank you for that. That’s incredible that you got great feedback in both yoga and one your photo shoot. Reminds me that I should be more vocal when I really appreciate the work of a practitioner. So often I feel bashful and don’t tell them how incredible they are at what they do. And way to take some time off. I know that those self-imposed breaks often feel like the biggest accomplishments, yet they don’t always seem worthy of sharing. I’m glad you shared, because that inspires me to remember to take time off.
Adriana: Suuuuuper awesome. I could definitely relate to how you might have felt beforehand. Think how many other painters (and wannabe painters) will get to be inspired by you and how you work? What a total gift you gave to yourself, AND to the rest of us, by doing that. Woo-hoo!
Ooh, I love this! Reminds me of Ellie Di’s idea of TA-DA! lists: http://s.rvxn.org/ta-da-lists and my recent idea to create collections of good words that people have said about us: http://s.rvxn.org/keep-a-stub-file-of-good-words
TODAY, I’m glad I wrote a post, took the time to make a delicious breakfast for myself, woke up early, cleaned the litter box, and am getting a lot of work done. YAY!
Sui: I adore Ta-Da! lists. They are seriously great. They make me feel soooo much better about myself. And yes! I have a somewhat similar “stub file”. I call it my Happy File. It contains good words, as well as sweet emails from friends, nice cards, and silly jokes. Yay for you on the post, yummy breakfast (!), early rising and working. Hooray! Sometimes I find those daily ones the hardest to get done (and then to recognize).
Thank you for this, Kylie! So important.
Last week, when someone I care about crankily called me a very rude name, I very clearly (without being rude myself) communicated that this was Not Okay. I didn’t hedge, or qualify, or apologize for somehow eliciting the rude name; I set an immediate boundary, which was immediately respected.
I also sang Beethoven’s Mass in C Major with my choral group, two nights in a row, with no screw-ups! I felt like an extremely valuable member of the soprano section, and enjoyed myself immensely.
Kat: Whoa! Way to set that boundary! That is a huuuuuumongous accomplishment. Also, I adore the fact that it was immediately respected. *Dance of victory!*
And an enthusiastic brava on your performance. In my opinion, it’s a wonderful feeling to know you’re a pillar of strength in your section. (And I’m sure your fellow singers appreciated you, too!)
Love this ideaL
Received some 360 degree feedback from internal customers, peers and manager and all very positive. Found out some strenghts I didn’t know about myself.
Michelle: Yahoo! Three sources of uber-positive feedback? That’s gotta feel great. And now you know more strengths you have, and can keep building on them. Incredible.
this might be one of my favorite posts/ideas, or at least right now.
First: yay for everyone!
Then: I’ve been doing some writing coaching/tutoring for some MA students and (a) turns out I’m really good at it and (b) the problems in their writing make sense to them for possibly the first time ever. Feeling pretty awesome.
I also wrote 870 words for chapter B (the new chapter between chapters 1 and 2) of my dissertation yesterday and I have a goal to match that word count today. yay!
Philosophotarian: Oh wow. That’s entirely remarkable that your tutoring is clarifying things for them. Also, hello insanely-marketable skill! If you’re getting testimonials from them, they’ll be so super awesome for helping to bring in more clients. Plus it’s always just fun to read about how you’re helping people.
870 words! In one day! That is so many words! Wishing you the easy flow of words today, as well. You’re remarkable.
I set out to start a business in coaching and finally get a website up after much procrastination – and pulled it together in less than a week
I started writing and putting blogs out there to the world even though clicking “publish” sometimes paralyzes me with fear.
I kept my commitment to myself to continue to make myself vulnerable in the interest of remaining on the same playing field as my clients.
I set out to do some hardcore training at the climbing gym, and was able to work on and send (climb to the end) boulder problems that i previously thought were way too hard for me.
xo
Rebecca: Wow, girl. Way to put what you have to offer right on out there. AND way to stay semi-vulnerable (which sounds to me like it’s kinda the same as putting what you have to offer right on out there). And boulders? Whoa. That sounds simultaneously hardcore (indeed!), terrifying, and like tons of fun. In all four of these things, I see a lot of willingness to take risks. And that’s incredible.
Thanks Kylie
Your site is really great. Not sure how I came upon it… Maybe through Alexandra? I’m working with her soon and can’t wait!