Last week, I got to go on a three-day vacation. VACATION! It was so delightful. It was, in fact, so delightful that I couldn’t stop exclaiming how delightful everything was. For three days, delightful was my very favorite word.
From the moment work ended the day before our departure, I was my Vacation Self. Which is to say, the most delightful version of myself I’ve ever met. The self who wakes up at 3:30 am without complaint because, you know, vacation is worth it. The self who stays peppy even after stripping down to bare feet and underthings at airport security. The self who nimbly remembers to leap up to fetch her partner tropical beverages, simply for the joy of being kind. The self who doesn’t give a hoot that the other people at the pool are kinda loud, and a wee bit annoying.
My Vacation Self seems to stick around a bit after the vacation concludes, luckily. She’s awesome and kind and, actually, pretty outgoing. She has the energy to go out more than once in a weekend. She feels excited to get out and exercise, and not just because she knows it will make her feel good afterward. She’s able to handle more stimulus than usual, quickly forgetting loud subway noises and cranky shopkeepers.
I’m so glad I got to go on vacation, and even more glad that I got to spend some time with Vacation Me.
But I almost missed out on this vacation entirely. I’m great at forgetting that rest and vacation are necessary parts of self-care. I’m great at delaying gratification and pushing through, to my own detriment. I’m hugely talented at convincing myself that fun in the sun is less important than saving my pennies.
Luckily, I have a partner who’s better at remembering Vacation Me, and insisting that we see her more often. So I went on vacation. I remembered that Vacation Me exists, and that she’s such a total doll.
Now, in vacation’s fuzzy afterglow, I’m wondering how I can spend more time with Vacation Me on a regular basis. I don’t want her to be somebody I only see once a year. I want her to be somebody I see regularly, so much so that, over time, her presence blends into my everyday reality. I want to prioritize her, so that maybe, someday, I can become her.
. . .
How and when do you meet up with the most delightful version of yourself? And how could you make contact with that self even more often?
I’m glad you had a relaxing break. I love to create a feeling of holiday at home. When away recently, I did the same as I’ve done in previous years – took a couple of greetings cards with pretty imagery and sat them out in our accommodation. I even took an orchid in a pot (not practical I know!). The orchid is on the mantel & the cards on the artboard in the kitchen. As I move around the home, they serve as tiny reminders of that holiday feeling. The same goes with the pebbles we collected on the beach, which we put in the garden flowerpots on our return. I choose one of my favourite essential oils or scented candles and take just that one, to burn whilst away. When I’m back, burning the same scent makes me feel like I’m still in holiday mode and helps me to slow down and just enjoy the day a little more; whatever I’m doing.
I do the pushing through too – ohhh boy do I. And learn. And do it again. For me maybe the most insidious aspect of this pattern is that the pushing takes precedence over necessary emotional processing. But the version of myself who shows up sometimes in practice or in support of my friends or students, or yes on vacation too, is demonstrating better ways – and they always have to do with more awareness and presence.
Vacation Kylie must be something – I pretty much think you’re a doll anyway! I am so glad that you had such a delicious time off!!
Louise: I LOVE those ideas! I remember vacation through smells already, but not intentionally. It happens when I catch a whiff of sunscreen, generally. It’s such a fabulous idea, though, to intentionally set up that sense-memory. I love it. I’m totally doing it.
Mel: Awareness and presence. Yes. Those are very wonderful qualities to visit and blend into your life. And thank you, as always, for your utter sweetness. ♥
i love it! what a re-discovery! of vacation me, a total doll!!!
sounds so inspiring. i have a vacation scheduled in july. but methinks i should take a smaller one sooner. you make a brilliant point about prioritizing that self. i was just thinking the other day how, most of the time, i’m a different person, in a different mode, than my truest, “effervescent” self. it must be the case for us all. love you, kylie!