putting something on the page

Mary and I got married a week and a half ago. (!!!!!!!!) My new name is Kylie K Bellard. Holy heck, it’s exciting!

Ever since then, I’ve been trying to write a post about it. Something honest and maybe wise. Something to sum it all up without being too self-congratulatory or heteronormative. Or homonormative. Something to bring you all into this really huge thing in my life which, for personal reasons, I wasn’t really discussing online before it happened. Even though I was so stressed out about it that I couldn’t sleep much and was breaking out like crazy. Sheesh.

It was too much pressure, trying to write this big ‘ol summary post. So I’m breaking the silence I was imposing on myself through expected Wedding Summary Post perfection to say: we’re married! This post-wedding post is imperfect and short. I’ll tell you more later, probably in a rather piecemeal fashion.

Planning a wedding (even though ours was relatively small and laid-back) was the most stressful thing we’ve ever done. The week or so surrounding the getting-married itself was packed to the gills with all sorts of emotions. Glee, excitement, nervousness, stress, gratitude, sadness, shame, delight, disbelief, frustration, worry, heart-bursting happiness, contentment, tenderness. Plus so much more. And there is simply no way for me to contain all of that in one blog post, no matter how eloquently written or visually captured.

Liking yourself has a whole lot to do with just doing things, living and engaging with the world now, instead of agonizing in pursuit of perfection. So that’s the point of this post. I’m sharing enormous news in the way I can right now, because I do want to share our joy with you. Even if that joy can’t be expressed perfectly.

*That photo is my mama, Head Flower Arranger, hard at work the day before the shindig. Our Flower Team was top-notch. For serious.