Like (seemingly) everyone else on the planet, I tuned in on Tuesday for the much-anticipated Rocky Horror episode of Glee. I enjoyed it immensely. I laughed and guffawed with the rest of them.
I realize that, like everything on television, the show is problematic. Its characters are caricatures of themselves, especially with respect to race and disability. Still, I watch it and can’t believe that I get to see a musical television show, complete with queer characters and actors, every week.
There was much to love and much to dislike about Tuesday’s episode, but one piece stuck out to me particularly. Near the end of the episode, a resigned Mr. Schu apologizes to Emma for trying to seduce her and notes that her dentist boyfriend, Carl, is helping her “get better” from her obsessive-compulsive disorder. And this struck me as wrong, because it’s not fair for anyone with a mental illness or their partners to expect a romantic relationship to “cure” them.
I realize this is part of the plot, and that the point of Glee is not to dig into the intricacies of its characters’ mental workings. Still, the implication here is that Emma is unable to find her own solution, that she is flawed alone and that she needs a partner to make her happy. This supposition takes away her agency (and the agency of the rest of us who have dealt with any type of mental illness) and puts a whole lot of pressure on her partner. It’s not fair or realistic.
In reality, mental illness isn’t something that can be solved by the right romantic partner. It is certainly helpful to have support as you work on managing a disorder. It is certainly harmful to be in a relationship that doesn’t support this. However, mental illness cannot be solved by a relationship. Most processes of treatment are long, drawn-out and ongoing, and involve many elements, including therapy, medication, lifestyle changes and holistic care.
If it were up to me, Emma would struggle with her OCD on her own, and her relationship with Carl would be a source of support throughout the process. I’d like Emma, and nobody else, to be in the driver’s seat of her treatment and her wholeness.
couldn’t agree with you more on emma working through the ocd on her own. it’s crazy to me how much people look to tv to mirror real life—or is it that we just want to believe that tv is real, even when we know they’re caricatures of themselves and us…even the reality tv shows are such.
one of the things i love about coaching is the moment when a client realizes—i mean REALLY gets it—that they are whole and capable, regardless of the issues they’re struggling with.
I had to chuckle because I agreed with your last paragraph, only I was thinking that I’d like her relationship with Mr. Schu to be a source of support. But then where would be the story/anticipation.
I’ve actually given up on Glee and am waiting for the DVD, so was the one person who did not get to see this episode. I watch on Hulu and (don’t know if it’s my browser or computer or ..) the video lags so far behind the audio that it’s not as much fun to watch. Someday I will catch up.
Dian: Thank you for commenting! I was super nervous about posting this, for some reason. Yes — that wholeness issue, which is kind of part of the “I’m in charge of my life” realization — is one of those epiphanies that people get a lot with both coaching and therapy.
Elizabeth: I’ll be the first to admit that I totally want her to be with Mr. Schu. They were so cute together. But yes, TV needs to have romantic tension and blah blah blah.
That’s stinky about your video lagging. Have you tried watching on the actual Glee website? That’s what I always do. Maybe worth a try.