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i want you to be scared (but only a little bit)

Scared

Quite often, folks who are thinking about trying A Day of Nothing, or getting ready for one, share with me that they’re feeling scared about it.

My response is always to tell them that’s understandable.

I feel scared when I think about emptying out a whole day and just being with myself.

I think most people do.

 

It’s good to feel a little scared.

 

Another part of my response, which I think often surprises them, is to say that I’m glad they feel scared. It’s good to feel a little scared about taking a Day of Nothing.

If you’re feeling scared about it, that most likely means that you really, really need it.

Invariably, the people who have their worlds rocked most by their Days of Nothing are the people who initially have strong reactions to the concept of the Day. Either they fall happily into it, as they would a warm, cushy bed, or they wrinkle their nose at it, wondering why on Earth anyone would ever ever ever want to do such a thing to themselves.

 

It might be exactly what you need.

 

So when somebody remarks that they’re scared to do the Day, I get excited. It usually means their world is about to change, because they’re going to stretch themselves, big time.

This goes beyond A Day of Nothing, of course. Just for the sake of example, yoga and meditation are two practices that people often have strong reactions to. A lot of people don’t ever think they’ll be a “yoga person.” Or they can’t imagine sitting still and observing their breath for two minutes, let alone twenty.

I know many, many people who only tried yoga or meditation because they had tried everything else to soothe their ills, and they were at their wit’s end. And then one (or both) of those practices ended up changing their lives, because it was exactly what they needed.

This applies just as much to anything else as it does to yoga, meditation, or doing nothing. We do what’s easy, and what we’re used to, specifically because it’s easy and we’re used to it.

But the thing we often need most, in order to bring more balance into our bodies, brains, and lives, is the thing we don’t want to do. The thing that’s a little scary or makes us want to wrinkle our nose.

 

A subconscious pull, in your belly.

 

I hope it goes without saying that I’d never tell you to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do. I don’t want you doing things that feel outright wrong, deep in your belly. (You know that, right? I’m certain you do.)

But there’s a difference between something that feels very wrong deep down, and something that you resist but that you feel a subconscious pull toward.

That’s what I’m talking about. That feeling of something being ostensibly unappealing, but knowing it’s what you need, no matter how much your conscious mind fights against it.

So maybe you’re a liiiitle bit scared to do a Day of Nothing, to try yoga, to meditate, to go for a hike, whatever.

Just know this: that thing you’re teetering on the edge of trying might be the doorway into a whole new way of experiencing your world.

. . .

 P.S. One last reminder: the incredible Multi-Passionate Must-Haves sale ($1,379 worth of products, including The Comparison Cure, for $97) ends tonight at midnight PST. Get the goods here!  

 

27 sparkly, inspiring products for $97. seriously.

Multi-Passionate Must-Haves

I’m excited.

If you’re on my Self-Love Letters list, you already know why. (If not, read on, fair friend!)

My brand new baby product, The Comparison Cure, is part of an incredible 72-hour sale, Multi-Passionate Must-Haves, which begins today. This is the first time I’ve ever been part of something like this, and I’m feeling pretty delighted to share it (at a price that’s something like 95% off what this inspiring stuff would normally cost).

So here’s the deal: 27 courses, audios and ebooks – worth $1,379(!) – that will help you live your dreams with bravery and compassion, are available for $97 ‘til Thursday at midnight. That includes my brand-new product, The Comparison Cure, along with all these:

  • BYOB Build Your Online Business Guide by Natalie Sisson ($37)
  • Pitch Perfect™ Pack by Dyana Valentine ($57)
  • The Creative Ignition Kit by Melissa Dinwiddie ($37)
  • Renaissance Business by Emilie Wapnick ($49)
  • Productivity for Multipotentialites by Michelle Nickolaisen and Emilie Wapnick ($67)
  • Operation: Creative Career Cheer by Michelle Ward ($37)
  • Social Media Rehab by Tiffany Han ($59)
  • Reclaim Your Dreams by Jonathan Mead ($47)
  • Life is Messy Planners by Mayi Carles ($40)
  • Creating Your Own Mastermind Group by Jen Louden ($100)
  • The Declaration of You by Jessica Swift and Michelle Ward ($57)
  • The Comparison Cure by Kylie Bellard ($15)
  • Ethical Selling that Works by Pamela Slim ($97)
  • Help, I Need More Time! by Bev Webb ($46)
  • How to Describe the Indescribable by Alexandra Franzen ($17)
  • The Art of Earning + The Art of Growth by Tara Gentile ($40)
  • Spin Your Story by Amanda Oaks ($10)
  • The Joy Equation by Molly Mahar ($147)
  • 52 Weeks to Awesome by Pace & Kyeli ($52)
  • The Right Brain Product Development Playground by Jennifer Lee ($97)
  • How to Take a Career Break to Travel by Alexis Grant ($29)
  • Small Army Strategy by Srinivas Rao ($2.99)
  • The Kick Burnout Kit by Michelle Nickolaisen ($17)
  • The Yearly/Weekly Planner Bundle by Michelle Nickolaisen ($23)
  • The Courageous Living Program by Kate Swoboda ($125)
  • The Momentum Kickstart Kit by Charlie Gilkey ($47)
  • Guerrilla Influence Formula by Tyler Tervooren ($49)

Another very exciting part of this? $10 from each sale is going to Michelle Ward’s team for the Avon 2-Day Breast Cancer Walk in NY. Michelle was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2011 and declared cancer-free in June 2012. Celebrating with donations is one of the very best ways to celebrate, yes? Yes.

(Just so you know, clicking the links here sends some affiliate dollars my way. I don’t usually do the whole affiliate thing, and I wouldn’t be involved in this if I didn’t fully, totally, 100% believe in it. Many of the products and practitioners here are the very ones that got me on the path I’m on right now. They quite literally changed the entire course of my life.)

The Multi-Passionate Must-Haves sale will go poof at midnight Thursday, so get your paws on it now. Soooo much inspiration, learning, and support awaits!

itty bitty adventures: a casting call

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

photo via Interview, with my modifications

It’s time for an Itty Bitty Adventure! Yay hooray!

The Itty Bitty Adventure Club is this thing where I talk about teeny tiny adventures I take. You can read more about it here. I’d love for you to share your adventures, too, either in the comments or on your own blog. If you do so on your blog, post the link in the comments, and I’ll add ya’ to the post so we can all share the adventurey joy.

. . .

 

The itty bitty adventure in question:

 

If you follow me on Twitter, or have spoken with me in the past three months, you know that I’m unreasonably enthusiastic about Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, the Seattle-based hip hop duo that’s currently making history on the Billboard charts. They’re from Seattle (like me, you guys! Like me!). They like the gays. They talk about addiction recovery. They’re incredibly smart entrepreneurs who inspire me endlessly.

And their music?

Oh, their music. It’s gotten me excited about hip hop again. It’s gotten me excited about music again. I can say with total certainty that their full-length album, The Heist, is now my favorite album ever. Ever.

So when I saw on Macklemore’s Twitter feed that they were going to be in NYC and were having some sort of casting call for extras for a mysterious video shoot, I couldn’t not apply. Even though a casting call would usually be one of the last things I’d ever want to do. Even though it sounded scary. Even though it felt silly.

 

The monsters that showed up when I decided on my adventure:

 

Monster #1: “This is scary. I don’t wanna I don’t wanna I don’t wanna.”

My response: I know it’s scary. You’re so right. It is! And it’s totally allowed to be scared, especially about something like this, that’s so far outside our comfort zone. The great thing is that we can allow ourselves to be scared and still move forward, with care and compassion. Being scared doesn’t automatically mean we don’t do something. It means we build in extra safety for ourselves, because this is something we want to do.

Monster #2: “Kylie, you are not cool. This is something that requires coolness, and you’re all about not being cool. Genuine? Yes. Kind? Yes. But not cool.”

My response: Oh, honey. It sounds like some outsider syndrome is really kicking in right now. You’re wanting to feel like you’re part of a community that appreciates good music, having fun, social justice, and being kind. And you’re really afraid of somebody telling you, flat out, that you don’t belong. You’re especially scared specifically for the reason that this music is meaningful to you. That makes so much sense, and is so very human.

It’s true that if coolness is about being mean or not caring, then it’s not your thing. But who says that’s what coolness is about? Maybe coolness is about being progressive, inclusive, and brave. It’s totally possibly that coolness has those qualities within it. And if that’s the case, you’re so cool. And you belong. That’s the biggest thing here. You want to know you belong. And you do. You belong within yourself and within your carefully-cultivated community.

 

How it all went down:

 

I got home from a long day and, even though I was tired, had Mary take photos of me for the email I needed to send the casting agency. I felt silly doing so. I felt like an imposter. But I also felt the heady zing of taking brazen action.

I lovingly crafted an enthusiastic email with all the information the casting agency needed, and I attached the photos, and I sent it out into the world. And then I waited.

About 24 hours later, I got an email back:
 

“IF YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION YET,
Due to a huge response
WE are completely full!!”

 

My heart fluttered a little. I breathed a big sigh of relief. I had tried, and I was enormously proud of myself for that. Last week was, apparently, not my time to be in a music video. But it was my time to be brave, and take chances, and care about something without knowing whether I’d receive anything in return. It was my time to open my heart.

 
The side effects:

 

I’m now feeling satisfaction and relief that I did this. Sending off this little email, which for some people would be an insignificant thing, was meaningful for me. It was, as I said, a true exercise in openheartedness.

That’s an openheartedness that I keep with me as I listen to Can’t Hold Us and Otherside while I’m riding on the subway, and as I’m sharing this tender thing with you, right now.

 . . .

Mischief managed!

Do you have any itty bitty adventuring to report? If so, please do share in the comments or on your own blog. If not, grab a badge in the sidebar to the left, then join us next time!

 

you don’t have to explain.

Explain

 

You don’t need to have a reason.

 

You don’t have to tell anyone why.

 

If somebody else thinks you need to give them an explanation, that’s their stuff.

 

You choosing whether to proffer it? Your stuff. Your business.

 

It’s your choice, whether you explain or whether you don’t. Neither is right.

 

Just know that you don’t have to tell anybody anything.

 

Not if you don’t want to.

 

why it’s not selfish to make art . . . that’s just for yourself.

Maryann

Kylie’s note: Today I am delighted to bring you a guest post from my wonderful friend Maryann Devine. Maryann has taught me so much about how to play and how to be gentle with myself. And now she’s teaching me how to care for myself by being creative. This post is pure, sparkly gold. I hope you love it as much as I did.

. . .

One of the many things that I adore about Kylie’s blog is how she talks about self-care:

“The better you’re able to take care of yourself, the better you can live your life. And the better you live your life, the more you contribute to the world.”

Amen.

Self-care is essential.

Decidedly not selfish.

There are all sorts of ways we can take care of ourselves, from seemingly tiny acts like taking our vitamins to bigger commitments like scheduling a massage.

And yet, making art — art that’s just for you — doesn’t often make the self-care check list.

Even though it feeds you.

Even though it lightens your mood.

Even though it is supremely happy-making.

When you’re radiating joy, the world’s a better place for everyone, right?

 

Art?

 

Before I go on, maybe I should explain what I mean by art.

I mean your own creative expression, no matter what shape it takes.

Sure, art might mean playing around with paints. But it could just as easily mean quietly assembling words into a poem. Or dreaming up a contraption that makes cotton candy *and* generates clean energy (win-win!).

The point is, you’re making something for your pleasure alone. You can decide later whether you want to share it with your best friend, or the world.

 

It’s art with no agenda.

 

Even when we do allow ourselves to make art, it’s often with a particular end in mind — something that’s profitable, or serves people, or is capital-M Meaningful.

Art-making for its own sake is one of the flow activities famously identified by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

And according to Csikszentmihalyi, flow is the key to living a satisfying life.

Who couldn’t use a richer, more satisfying life, I ask you?

And as if that weren’t enough, the art you make for you and you alone?

It’s the *best* art.

It’s the art that gets people excited (assuming that you eventually share it — you don’t have to!)

I should know.

After a lifetime of living as an artist, I gave it up. For thirteen years!

When I did get the urge to make things once more, I couldn’t just do it for the pure joy of it.

It had to be in service of productivity, or getting the creative juices going for my business.

But that wasn’t enough.

I needed to make things just for me.

And, ironically, people are describing these “selfish” pieces with words like “mesmerizing” and “powerful.” Even better, these little pieces are inspiring others to wonder, “What could I be making right now?”

 

How do you get started?

 

1. Make it easy by getting ready.

 

The thing about making art of any kind is: unlike watching TV or wandering around online, it usually involves some kind of preparation.

Does this sound familiar?

You’re tired, you’ve been working all day, and when you think of getting back into painting or whatever — you’re (understandably) overwhelmed with the idea of setting it all up.

Your art supplies are in the closet — maybe.

And what are you going to paint on? Do you have a blank canvas stashed somewhere? Or maybe a block of watercolor paper?

Even if know the exact location of all your tools, where are you going to set up? You’ve got to clear a space. Maybe today’s not the day . . .

In The Happiness Advantage, author and happiness expert (shouldn’t we all be happiness experts?) Shawn Achor describes how moving his guitar from the closet to a stand in his living room helped him do what he so much wanted to do: practice on a daily basis.

So how can you make it easier for Future You to make your version of art?

 

2. Make it easy by improvising.

 

Do you really need everything you think you need, in order to make art?

If you’re a writer, you might not necessarily need a tidy desk and all your notes in order. You might find that all you need is a pen and a cocktail napkin.

When I started making art again, I had a mental block about getting proper supplies. To get around that, I pulled out stacks of blank index cards, old nail polish that I never wore, dry-erase markers — whatever I happened to have on hand.

What’s the bare minimum you need to make the art that calls to you?

 

3. Make it easy by finding support.

 

When I took part in Kylie’s first Day of Nothing, art-making — just for me — was absolutely on the menu.

If you’re having a hard time putting aside time for your art, having a day inked on your calendar can make a difference. Expert support before, during, and after can make a difference. Knowing that you’re not alone can make a difference.

 

So . . .

 

What’s one tiny step you could take toward making art, just for you? What would you make if no one was watching?

. . .

MaryannDevineA former marketing + publicity strategist (turned writer + creativity teacher), Maryann Devine is intimately acquainted with the struggles + joys of the creative life.

And after hitting ‘pause’ for 13 years, Maryann is making art again — for nobody, for everybody, and for you.

Click here to see her latest creation. Or here to get a secret message. Or here for a surprise.

maybe . . .

Maybe . . .

Empathy

Maybe. Quite possibly. Let’s be honest: probably.

 

news (of the lollygagging variety)

News

I have news, dearies!

This news has to do with rest, and lollygagging, and watching tea steep, and moseying, and naps in pools of sunshine.

In that way, it’s very much unlike the five o’clock news that we’re used to, with all its alarmist trappings. (And thank the heavens for that.)

This news is of the most leisurely variety:

 

A Day of Nothing is back!

 

If you’re signed up for Self-Love Letters, then, well, you already know this. (But say yay with me anyway, won’t you?)

 

A Day of Nothing is for you if you are at the end of your rope — in work, in life, or just . . . in your brain.

A Day of Nothing is for you if you’ve always wanted to learn to be quiet and spend some quality time with yourself, but you need some solid support to do it (honey, I’m here for ya’).

A Day of Nothing is for you if you know you would benefit from taking one day per month, for the rest of the year, and dedicating it to non-doing.

A Day of Nothing is for you if you don’t know how to stop working. It’s also for you if you’re so overwhelmed that paralysis is keeping you from working.

 

A Day of Nothing is for you.

 

This time around, there’s a monthly subscription option, which will get you the bonus of an entire hour of coaching with me, where we’ll do deep work with your relationship to non-doing. (This option is a deal and a half.)

There’s also a drop-in option, which is for you if you want to gently dip your toe into this Nothing business.

 

Pop on over here to see what this Day of Nothing stuff is all about. 

 

I would be totally delighted to have you join us and discover first-hand how life-changing it is.

dealing with the critical voices within you

VoicesWithin

Nobody wants to say mean things to themselves. It hurts.

 

But it happens, especially for folks who struggle with self-esteem.

In fact, negative self-talk is so insidious that you might not even be aware of how much it happens, unwittingly, inside your mind. Instead, it might be a subconscious loop of negativity that plays endlessly just for you to hear (how lovely,eh?). And because you don’t realize that it’s there, there’s no way for you to guard yourself against its attacks. You end up getting beaten up on a daily basis by an invisible bully who’s taken up residence in your mind. Oy.

The thing that’s really counterintuitive, and that you really need to know, is the the reason your inner critic is there in the first place is to guard you against threats. It’s one of our many internal self-protection mechanisms, and it functions by trying to prevent us from doing things that it perceives will harm us.

A lot of the time, this means the inner critic is trying to beat us into shape before someone else (or something else) has the chance.

The problem with this is that, in the process of trying to protect us, our critical voices actually hurt us more. So our goal when dealing with them is not to kill them or force them to go away before they’re ready.

 

Our job is to figure out how to achieve their goals in a more self-supportive way, therefore rendering them useless.

Then, they can dissolve on their own with very little struggle.

 

So how do we do this?

 

1. First, we recognize that the critical voices are there, and we find out what they’re saying. (It’s very helpful to do this on paper, instead of in our head.)

 

2. Next, we find out what purpose they’re serving. Here are just a few possibilities:

  • To “prepare” you for hurtful words by saying them before someone else does
  • To “motivate” you to do “better”
  • To lower your expectations so you won’t be disappointed
  • To keep you from doing things that could result in embarrassment/pain
  • To “protect” you from being let down by other people
  • To prepare you for the worst possible situation

You’ll want to think of any possible purpose, at all, that these negative voices could be serving, and write them down. It’s possible that some of these purposes will sound downright ridiculous to you. But negative self-talk isn’t logical. Write down anything that comes to mind, no matter how seemingly absurd.

 

3. This next step is, in my opinion, the most challenging. We want to find a way to meet the purpose/need we just identified in a way that renders the critical voice useless. Here are some examples of how we might do this, based on the purposes identified above:

  • If the critical voice is trying to “prepare” you for hurtful words by saying them before someone else does, you might: acknowledge the pain there and write a supportive letter to the version of yourself who’s injured.
  • If the critical voice is trying to “motivate” you to do “better,” you might: ask yourself whether you really do need to “do better.” If the answer is yes, think of a way to motivate yourself that feels good and kind, and acknowledges that you’re doing your best.
  • If the critical voice is trying to lower your expectations so you won’t be disappointed, you might: acknowledge that disappointment is an inevitable part of a full life, and plump up your support ecosystem to make sure it can cradle you when disappointment happens.
  • If the critical voice is trying to keep you from doing things that result in embarrassment/pain, you might: create safety precautions that will help the situation feel more secure to you — and don’t proceed until you know you have the built-in safety and support that you’ll need to cushion the risk.
  • If the critical voice is trying to “protect” you from being let down by other people, you might: make sure that you have a wide variety of people around, so that even if something goes wrong with one, you have supports to hold you. You might also strengthen or expand the ways in which you give yourself internal protection.
  • If the critical voice is trying to prepare you for the worst possible situation, you might: acknowledge the fear and pain there, and find out if it’s possible for you to make room for the possibility of positive outcomes, as well.

Then, we continue to do this on a regular basis. We recognize the voices, discover their purpose, and meet the need in order to render the voices useless.

Critical self-talk does not disappear overnight. However, just like about 50% of the other stuff we humans do, negative self-talk is a habit. And every single time we bring awareness to a habit, or engage with it in a different way, we loosen its grip on us.

If you begin to engage with your critical voices in this way, you’ll transform the way you interact with them, and with yourself.

plumb the depths

26questions

I’m an enormously huge fan of coaching. Clearly, because why else would I have become a coach? I’m also a giant fan of therapy. (Oh therapy, how I love thee.)

I would never have made friends with myself to the extent that I have if it weren’t for coaching and therapy. I don’t know where I’d be without them, but I wouldn’t be here.

In our society, those are the usual places we go when we want answers: therapy or coaching. Or books. (Or denial. But I think we can all agree that’s a less-than-helpful destination.)

 

But there’s another place to go, somewhere we don’t reference nearly as often.

 

This place is the real source of insight. This place is a direct line between where you are and where you want to be. Therapy and coaching are invaluable translation services for the insights you’ll find here.

But sometimes, the answers here can be accessed without outside help. Just you.

 

This place, this fountain of insight, is, of course, within you.

 

There is so much smartness inside your brain and body. It’s hard to realize that, however, unless you go within.

There are many ways to plumb your own depths for the insight you’re seeking. Meditation. Yoga. Dreams. Daydreams.

The written word is a powerful one to start with. When we’re thinking, thoughts move so rapidly that we can talk ourselves out of insights before they have a chance to land. But when we write? When we write, the truth can spill out before we have the chance to stopper it up.

When diving for internal insights, one of the best tools you can have is a good question. A good question will unleash the truths you hoped to, but never thought you would, find.

Below are 26 questions to ask yourself when you want a good, solid dose of pure insight.

 

Get yourself a pen and paper. And start scribbling.

 

How do I feel, physically, when I think about this situation?

What would {person you admire most} say to do here?

If there’s a lesson I’m supposed to learn here, what is it? (Only ask this if it doesn’t make you want to throw up.)

What lies am I telling myself about this?

What don’t I want to see?

What does this situation remind me of?

What does my wisest self have to say on this subject?

What needs to be said?

What sucks about this? (Full permission to complain.)

What advice would my five-year-old self give me right now?

What advice would my ninety-year-old self give me right now?

What beliefs am I letting go unquestioned?

What am I bursting at the seams to say?

What am I overlooking?

If this issue was a physical object, what would it be? What would its texture be like? Its size? Its shape? Its energy?

What’s the most outrageous way for this to unfold?

If I were telling this situation back to myself as a story, how would that story go?

If I decided to go off the beaten path here, what would that look like?

Why?

Why not?

How could I break my internal rules right now?

How could I break external rules right now?

What am I yearning for?

What object near me draws my attention? And what does it have to tell me about this issue?

If I had a genie to grant me one wish, what would I wish for here?

What am I thinking is wrong that’s actually totally right?

 

With this list, I wish you insights galore. And the experience of discovering your own shimmering genius.

 

itty bitty adventures: coming out

WithYa

It’s time for an Itty Bitty Adventure! Yay hooray!

The Itty Bitty Adventure Club is this thing where I talk about teeny tiny adventures I take. You can read more about it here. I’d love for you to share your adventures, too, either in the comments or on your own blog. If you do so on your blog, post the link in the comments, and I’ll add ya’ to the post so we can all share the adventurey joy.

. . .

The last two (or three? I’m not even sure.) weeks have been a whirlwind. I strode very intentionally into a thing that has been shaking things up. A lot.

That thing? A part-time job.

My monsters were (and are) all atwitter about this. Which is why I haven’t mentioned it yet. In the interest of safety, I always feel it’s best to see how much I can diminish the loudness of my own monsters before going out into the world where anybody else’s monsters might take a swing at me.

Now that I’ve spent some time calming and soothing my own monsters, I’m ready to talk about this stuff. Even though it does, indeed, feel a wee bit scary.

Quitting my day job after years of preparing for it was so incredibly huge for me. I really wanted to sail off into the sunset of successful, profitable self-employment and never look back. I felt so vital, healthy, and energetic having Monday through Friday on my own schedule. Though I don’t like admitting it, I think I wanted to be the one and only business owner ever who hasn’t felt like the first few years were . . . challenging.

But I’m not.

I’m stumbling awkwardly through entrepreneurship, and it isn’t always tidy. There are a lot of emotions I hadn’t expected. Like guilt, when I feel like I’m working too much. Embarrassment when I don’t understand the tax stuff. Anger when my website goes berserk and I don’t know why.

Overlying all of that, though, is the fact that I feel enlivened by my work, still. Even with the scary! Even with the confusion!

So the itty bitty adventure today wasn’t the act of taking the part-time job. That was an adventure, for sure, but one that just felt easy and right. The adventure is telling you that I’m currently making part of my income from working for somebody else. And that I have a lot of feelings about that, but that I want to share it, because honesty feels awesome.

I wonder if I shouldn’t be so transparent, because coaches are supposed to be “experts.” And then I snap back to myself, and I realize that I could not care less about being an expert. I care about being a compassionate human who helps people. And that’s what equals expertise in my book, anyway.

The truth is, when my monsters aren’t running the show, I know that this opportunity, which landed so ease-fully in my lap, before I even knew I needed it, is very, very right for right now. I also know that this is helping me be a way better coach. Returning to the challenging juggle of working for someone else while running one’s own business is teaching me all about how to be more efficient (in a compassionate way, of course).

This means that I’m developing even more tools to help my clients be kind to themselves and live their lives. It means I’m currently undertaking a study of my own design in how the heck a sensitive person can live in a big city, in this modern world, without feeling like absolute crap. It also means that I am ohmygosh so excited to start up Days of Nothing again in May (I’m needing that Nothing like you would not believe).

Several of my coaching clients (and my photography clients, too, come to think of it) are self-employed. And when they struggle with self-employed stuff, they feel alone. Really alone. No matter how well they know otherwise, they feel as if they’re the only ones who are lost.

We’re all just finding our way, doing our best with the tools we have. You, me, everybody. Trust me, friends: I’m right there with ya’.

. . .

Comments: This is sensitive stuff, as most of you know. Please no advice or suggestions here. I’d appreciate cheers for doing what’s right, even when the monsters get loud, as well as your own stories of the first few years of self-employed-ness feeling wobbly and/or delightful.