Last week, I got to go on a three-day vacation. VACATION! It was so delightful. It was, in fact, so delightful that I couldn’t stop exclaiming how delightful everything was. For three days, delightful was my very favorite word.
From the moment work ended the day before our departure, I was my Vacation Self. Which is to say, the most delightful version of myself I’ve ever met. The self who wakes up at 3:30 am without complaint because, you know, vacation is worth it. The self who stays peppy even after stripping down to bare feet and underthings at airport security. The self who nimbly remembers to leap up to fetch her partner tropical beverages, simply for the joy of being kind. The self who doesn’t give a hoot that the other people at the pool are kinda loud, and a wee bit annoying.
My Vacation Self seems to stick around a bit after the vacation concludes, luckily. She’s awesome and kind and, actually, pretty outgoing. She has the energy to go out more than once in a weekend. She feels excited to get out and exercise, and not just because she knows it will make her feel good afterward. She’s able to handle more stimulus than usual, quickly forgetting loud subway noises and cranky shopkeepers.
I’m so glad I got to go on vacation, and even more glad that I got to spend some time with Vacation Me.
But I almost missed out on this vacation entirely. I’m great at forgetting that rest and vacation are necessary parts of self-care. I’m great at delaying gratification and pushing through, to my own detriment. I’m hugely talented at convincing myself that fun in the sun is less important than saving my pennies.
Luckily, I have a partner who’s better at remembering Vacation Me, and insisting that we see her more often. So I went on vacation. I remembered that Vacation Me exists, and that she’s such a total doll.
Now, in vacation’s fuzzy afterglow, I’m wondering how I can spend more time with Vacation Me on a regular basis. I don’t want her to be somebody I only see once a year. I want her to be somebody I see regularly, so much so that, over time, her presence blends into my everyday reality. I want to prioritize her, so that maybe, someday, I can become her.
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How and when do you meet up with the most delightful version of yourself? And how could you make contact with that self even more often?
It’s my birthday today. Hallelujah! I’ve made it through 27 years on this Earth. Last year, when I talked about my birthday, people sent the loveliest cards and gifts and wishes. It made me feel so special; I just couldn’t believe it. This year, I’m jonesing to use my birthday powers for good. Explanation below.
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Anjal was one of the first people I met when I moved across the country to attend NYU. She was in my freshman honors seminar, one of thirteen of us studying the life and work of W.E.B. Du Bois for a whole semester.
We became friends, because you can’t not become friends with Anjal. She’s constantly smiling, and always including everyone, and asking unexpected questions that let you know she accepts you already. Plus, she just happens to be an incredible tabla player, and a fabulous cook, and a choreographer, and ah, yes, a shockingly accomplished Bharatanatyam dancer.
I asked her to be my roommate junior year, and by some miracle, she accepted. I felt so lucky to get to room with her. So lucky. For the next two school years, we spent time living side by side, often on opposite sleep schedules, but sometimes both tapping late into the night on our computers. Anjal introduced me to food politics, and I baked her my favorite chocolate-dipped earl grey shortbread.
Then we graduated, and while the rest of us were polishing our resumes and coiffing ourselves for interviews, Anjal up and started a dance school.
What, you say? Started a dance school? Fresh out of college?
Yup. Because that’s how Anjal rolls. She’s not one to take the easy, or the expected, way about things.
She started her dance school, which she named (beautifully) Soham Dance Space. First, she used an at-home teaching space. She then rented teaching space in the city of Chicago, where she lives and works. And then, a couple of years ago, Soham became its very own brick and mortar entity, complete with warmly-colored walls and a special floor for dancing on.
Now, here we are in 2012, and while her peers are just beginning to discover that cubicle nation might not be all it was cracked up to be, Anjal Chande has been the founder, director, teacher, and Jill-of-all-trades of Soham Dance Space for five whole years.
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The first few years of Anjal’s business, I didn’t really grasp the enormity of it. I don’t think anyone can really appreciate the enormous amount of work that goes into the creation of a business and the realization of a dream. I always thought it was incredible that Anjal was forging this path. I excitedly told other friends about how cool she was, and I purchased the first Soham t-shirts she created.
Then I started becoming a life coach/photographer, and I began to build my business, and I experienced this flood of realization at how crazy-hard it is. How the smallest website tweak can take four hours and more than a few tears. How taxes and incorporation and accounting, which basically no one but you even sees, make up a massive part of the business pie, consuming time and energy and funds and, again, maybe some tears.
It was then that I began to more fully appreciate the fact that Anjal is pursuing this dream. It’s not just that she’s growing a dance business, either. She has fabulously lofty ideals, and the day-to-day of her business is part of achieving them. Anjal’s big picture has to do with a thriving, smiling community; a world that views art and dance as integral to a functional social fabric; and performances that leave people with new thoughts and questions. Her vision is so much deeper than simply teaching people to dance.
That anyone’s business dream succeeds is, to me, a total miracle. It requires sustained effort, a commitment to seeing through the minutiae and the headaches and the sleepless nights and the seemingly insurmountable challenges, and maintaining a steadfast commitment to a vision that, quite possibly, no one but you will ever appreciate at its most pure level.
Which is why all I want for my birthday is to support Anjal’s dream. She currently has a fundraising campaign going to raise money for her Spring Fest, an upcoming performance that will usher in a whole new era for Soham Dance Space. The Spring Fest Fund isn’t just money for a performance to happen. It’s watering the seed of Anjal’s gorgeous dream, one she’s been tending for five years, and which she needs a strong community to continue to grow.
This request isn’t just me asking for your help in fulfilling the dream of my friend. Yes, Anjal is absolutely one of the most miraculous humans on the Earth. And yes, that’s one reason I’m supporting her, and asking you to support her instead of sending me birthday cards and gifts as you lovely people have done in the past.
But this is about so much more than that. This is about supporting the beauty of dreams, and the power of an unstoppable, effervescent spirit.This is why I became a life coach: because there is little more transcendent on our fleeting Earth than the miraculous blossoming of a dream.
For my birthday, I’d like to ask you to watch this video about the incredible work Anjal’s doing. If you can, I’d like to ask you to donate any amount of money that’s appropriate for you (even if that’s a dollar). If you’re in Chicago, attend Spring Fest. And pass on supportive fairy dust by sharing this post on social media, to build community around this miraculous business that is Soham Dance Space.
Thanks, everybody. For being here supporting my dreams, for supporting those of Anjal, and for supporting your very own.
I was so delighted a couple months ago, when Simone Seol asked me to photograph her. I’d started following her through Havi, and was completely blown away by the incredible insights she shares on her blog. Then I took a NYC Shiva Nata class with her: SO MUCH FUN. And then we finally got together and took photographs. It was fantastic. Below is an interview with Simone, plus a show-and-tell of the results of our photo session. Enjoy!
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K: Tell us about HipGnosis! It seems amazing (and magical).
S: HipGnosis is a shortcut to change. Instead of talking or thinking our way through stucknesses and problems, HipGnosis coaches the usually-hidden unconscious mind to recognize and bypass the usual blocks and come up with creative solutions. The result is fast ‘n furious — yet gentle! — change, as well as a deep and compassionate connection with yourself.
My funny spelling of ‘HipGnosis’ reflects my own approach to it, combining classical hypnosis (“your leg…. is feeling…. heavier….”) with unlikely energy techniques and self-care wisdom. My goal in every client session, as I often repeat, is to make myself obsolete as fast as possible; to give them self-hypnosis skills to take care of their own inner landscape for the rest of their lives. Empowerment and play!
K: I’m imagining that, since you’re such an effusive advocate of HipGnosis, it’s done some amazing things for you. What’s one of the craziest ways that HipGnosis has affected your life?
S: What comes to mind is the way in which I am no longer reacting to things.
Before, it was: “Oh no! X has happened. Wah! Wah! I am devastated. This means I suck. Let me go eat a pint of ice cream and a bag of potato chips to numb the pain!”
Now, it is: “Oh, no! X has happened. I didn’t see this coming! I am noticing that I am framing the facts of what happened in a certain way. I also notice that energetically, I feel out of alignment. I am noticing that I’m recycling lots of false narratives in my head. Let me drop down and see what else I can notice and what I need to give myself right now it come back into alignment…. Some deep breathing followed by self-hypnosis might help.”
As you can imagine, this ability to move through my pain instead of react to it changes everything. Not that I have it perfectly figured out and that I am a superwoman who never has crises — ha ha ha, not even close – but I have access to a toolbox that I can play with. And life is better with it.
K: What’s your very favorite way to practice self-care?
S: Cognitively: journaling. Asking smart questions. Questioning my own stories and noticing things that are hidden.
And honestly? Sometimes, nothing soothes the fatigued spirit like ice cream and trashy TV with girlfriends.
K: What (or who) is bringing you joy right now?
S: Spring! Sunlight! Songs! Serendipity!
(Tried hard to alliterate!)
And someone who told me yesterday to make room for the light and the dark.
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Simone Seol is Head HipGnotist at the House of HipGnosis. She and her elephant pal, Ollie, can be found frolicking on Twitter, flailing in New York City, and (of course) bringing their hipGnotic magicstraight to you via Skype.