At some point in our lives, each one of us gets to a point where we’d like to make new friends, whether it’s because we’re feeling lonely, want to add new people to our circle, or simply want to meet interesting people.
When you want to make new friends, how do you go about doing it?
Today, I invited a few friends of mine to share their hard-earned wisdom in response to this very question. Here they are:
“This journey of adult friendships is ongoing for me. A lot of my friends I met through my work—so, colleagues, clients, wives of my partner’s colleagues.
But lately I’ve been wanting to challenge myself by stepping outside of that cozy predictable little box. So I’m venturing out & taking up space. I’m asking friendly-looking gals about their tattoos, about how they smell. I joined OKCupid to see about branching out & making platonic friendships.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned about adult friendships is that they don’t often come to you; you have to put forth the effort. My mom always told me when I was little that “to be a friend you have to be friendly” & I’m trying to practice that everyday.”
Ev’Yan Whitney is a writer & sexuality doula who helps women come into their erotic power at sexloveliberation.com.
“Although the internet makes it easy to compare ourselves, it also makes it CRAZY easy to start friendships, which i’m SO grateful for!
Many of my closest friends are women I’ve never even met in person (thank you Skype!). One of my favorite humans I met on Instagram, which quickly escalated into long emails, then text messages of desserts we were eating (every day!), and I can’t imagine my life without her!
Another gal I met from Michelle Ward‘s Clubhouse. We’ve been friends for three years, and I FINALLY met her in person last week! YAY!
Since I’m often lonely, I make a HARDCORE effort to consistently schedule Skype calls or go out of my comfort zone and invite a local new person to tea in hopes of creating a friendship. Sometimes it works and sometimes it flops. Sometimes I’m lonely and sometimes I’m too busy to notice, but I wouldn’t feel as content and happy inside without my girlfriends I’ve met online.”
“Making new friends is a joyful adventure for me – I love feeling that spark of connection that happens when you know you’ve met a bosom-friend (à la Anne of Green Gables).
In my case, that typically involves laughter – a shared sense of humor.
To find these folks (and sometimes it happens when I’m not trying), I go to events, courses, infiltrate groups that are associated with things, ideas, activities that I love, with the expectation that I already have at least one thing in common with the other people there, making it more likely that the friendship lightning will strike!”
Sara Lehoullier is a big laugher, loud talker, and lover of connecting the dots who’s working towards happiness and embracing a life that sometimes feels like a comedy of errors.
“I have two strategies. When I’m feeling brave enough, I go out alone (I pick classes or groups where I’m likely to find like-minded people — meetup.com is a great place to find them). It’s just so much easier to meet other people when I’m not already with a friend and am basically forced to talk to strangers.
The other strategy is just to be friendly when I’m out in the world – I have made great friends this way just hanging out in coffee shops.”
Andrea Schroeder teaches open-hearted, creative people how to access whole new worlds of inner magic & power, so they can bring their dreams to life, with ease and joy.
If you’re feeling oh-so-ready to invite more friendship into your life, join us for Silver + Gold: An Adventure in Making and Keeping Friends. Friend-making will be the very first stop in our curriculum.